lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
