Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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