I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
