I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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