I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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