Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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