The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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