we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
