she was so not down for the gang bang
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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