god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
