12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
