I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He has the fingertips of a God
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