Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
