How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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