I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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