i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
