I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My vagina is very pro this idea
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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