I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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