Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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