babies were throwing up all over the place
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Randomize
