I understand Curling. That high.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
tell me about the fingering
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
