there's paper in my vomit.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
