I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
