mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
