Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
