I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
