My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize