I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
