And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
