Say something about gay babies.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
