he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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