when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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