its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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