You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
