I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just found puke in my bra..
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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