Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
