Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
