So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
