i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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