Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
