I just made out with a guy for $7.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
