So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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