Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Randomize