They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
