PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
