Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
