Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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