Its about making memories worth repressing
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
