rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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