Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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