careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
