so explain again why im purple
no
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
