I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize