singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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