Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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