never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
then he tried to convert me to islam
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
