So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize