we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize