Tell her she can't have a vagina
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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