I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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