Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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