If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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