Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize