I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
