It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
