maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
