she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
we're so committed to being not committed
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize