you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
