Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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